Losing an I

One of my favorite phrases from childhood is, "Someone is going to lose an eye." My husband is the perfect example of this phrase. Once, while playing soldiers with his brother, with the requisite long pointy sticks for guns, he was charging forward while Dave was turning to retreat, and Garth got poked in the eye. It is all fun and games until someone loses an eye. While we shout that reminder to our kids, sometimes in truth and sometimes in jest, in the Christian walk we are not supposed to stop until someone does lose an 'I". Do you put others first or do you need to stop and lose an "I"?

I confess that often I am selfish. I frequently choose to consider myself before others. Sometimes I am tired of doing good. Sometimes I want to think about me. Sometimes I get tired of being responsible. When is it going to be my turn to stay home and huddle under the covers instead of being the one to keep things going?

The world tells us many things about ourselves, most of them having to do with putting ourselves first: "I'm worth it", "Care begins with me", "You deserve a break today" are just a few.

Philippians 2:3 tell us, "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves".

The truth is, I think about myself plenty. But as a Christian I am called to "lose an I." It's just that the "I" is me, or my absorption with self. When I strive to put others before myself there is a subtle shift in the way I look at the world. I begin to see the whole person standing in front of me, not just their exterior. I begin to see their needs and their gifts. I begin to see that they are God's beloved child, just as I am. I begin to see their worth through my Fathers eyes, and hopefully, the way I view myself has changed as well. 

Clown Car

Lately my life feels like a giant clown car. I have the usual clowns who ride around with me: the mom & ministry clowns, the clown of personal responsibility, the wifey clown, friend, sister, etc…. So my car is pretty full on a daily basis. But lately more clowns have been climbing in to join the journey: the clown of High School graduation, who seems to have brought along quite a few friends, the GCU clown who has brought an oversized bouquet of flowers, each one representing money, time and things to do, and then last, the one who wants us to move households by the end of June; not to mention the ministry clown who tends to be a little more needy this time of year. As one climbs out, another seems to pile in and I can picture myself driving down the road with an over-stuffed car with crazy hair waving out the sunroof and giant feet sticking out the window!

You have probably felt the same way a time or two, and the reality is, sometimes life is like a clown: ridiculous, busy, loud, demanding, fun and often a little scary!

The clown car in my mind reminds me yet again that my life must be anchored and rooted in something of substance. My foundation has to be unshakeable because the circumstances of my life will probably shake and spin from time to time and a new clown will jump in the car to distract me. The usual clowns, family and friends, provide the love and support I need to go along with the random chaos, and this too is part of God’s provision and care for me.

I hope this week you will embrace the clowns in your car. Accept their presence and thank God that your car runneth over and that the God of the universe is bigger than you car and bigger than your pile of clowns.

 

Psalm 121:1” I lift my eyes toward the heavens. Where will my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.”

Gobsmacked

[gobsmacked]

                                            »utterly astonished, astounded

I was sitting in a room with 800 other Children’s Pastors last week and the speaker asked, “When was the last time you were gobsmacked by God’s word?” The word gobsmacked, which is an informal British word, originated from the combining of the two words gob and smacked and literally means to clap ones hand to the mouth in amazement.

Are you gobsmacked by God’s word? Sometimes I am, but more often I am not. I often read my Bible with the comfortable feeling of familiarity. I greet my Bible like an old friend. This isn’t necessarily bad, but it is an attitude that usually does not lead to wonder and amazement at God’s power.

 The question, are you gobsmacked, immediately brought to mind a kid named Sammy. We were in the middle of our Wednesday night club at church and the teacher was up front telling the Bible story to the large group of kids in the room. The teacher was telling the story in a way that had completely captivated his audience. It was a story you and I have heard a million times, and I don’t even remember which one it was.  I don’t think that I was even paying much attention until Sammy shouted out in the middle of the lesson: “That’s Awesome!” Sammy was gobsmacked: open mouthed, no-that-did-not-just-happen amazement at God’s Word.

Jesus said we should have the faith of little children.  Children enter into the telling of the story. Children believe without a lot of background information.  Children are willing to take God at His word. Sammy wasn’t trying to figure out the way physical laws had been broken, or trying to expose the lie of the illusion, and he wasn’t questioning the veracity of the text. He was gobsmacked by God’s Word! Absolute wonder! “Did He really? Yes, He totally did! Awesome.”

Did Jesus really heal the sick, walk on water, live a perfect life, die and rise from the dead? My response should be an awestruck and emphatic “Oh yes He did!”

The people brought children to Jesus, hoping he might touch them. The disciples shooed them off. But Jesus was irate and let them know it: “Don’t push these children away. Don’t ever get between them and me. These children are at the very center of life in the kingdom. Mark this: Unless you accept God’s kingdom in the simplicity of a child, you’ll never get in.” Then, gathering the children up in his arms, he laid his hands of blessing on them. (Mark 10:13-15, The Message)

The Best Cup of the Day

The love affair began when I was in college. It started innocently enough…and as obsessions go, it grew with each passing day. What was once something I huddled up  to for warmth became something more.  A little here and a little there, and pretty soon I was hooked. Something that started out strong and bitter grew into something sweet and comforting. Coffee: the elixir of the gods, the bringer of life, the good in good morning.

I consider the first cup of coffee to be the best cup of the day.  According to Statistic Brain, more than half of all adult Americans agree with me. “54% of Americans over the age of 18 drink coffee every day, and 60% of the people who drink coffee claim that they need coffee to start their day.”  I start each day sitting on the couch, golden retriever at my feet, coffee cup in hand. Somehow I never miss my first cup of coffee in the morning. It has become a habit.  The worst morning of the week is the one in which I am greeted with the words, “we are out of coffee”. How can I function without the blessed brew? 

Yet often I choose to function without a blessed brew of a different sort. There it is within my grasp each moment of every day-the blessing of time with my heavenly Father. And sometimes, many times, I see that blessed brew waiting for me in the form of prayer, Bible study or reflection and I turn away.

I recently asked some friends to fill in the blank: “I just can’t get through the day without ___”. How would you complete that sentence? The first thing that comes to my mind is my morning coffee. How did I put it? “Coffee:  The elixir of the gods, the bringer of life, the good in good morning.” It could be that I have my priorities a little out of sorts. Quite possibly, my Savior is the bringer of life and He is the good in good morning. Motivational speaker Rob Liano said it like this: “God will overflow your cup, so grab the biggest one you can find.” John 1:16 says it like this: “From his abundance we have all received one gracious blessing after another.” I hope that today your cup overflows!

Remember the Sparrow

I am a fish killer. One morning last week my goldfish Sparrow (RIP) was floating upside down in the top of his bowl. I lovingly and sadly scooped him out with the net. No movement or flutter of little happy fins. I carried him to the bathroom with tears in my eyes. No movement. I plopped him into the toilet and THEN he started to swim. Did I scoop him out and rinse him off? NOOOOO, I took a deep (sad & teary) breath and flushed. I closed the lid because I could not look. I am a fish killer.

It is bad to be a fish killer. People stop trusting you to babysit their fish, and worse, when you tell them that another fish has passed away to the great fish bowl in the sky, they accuse you of “setting it free”. Sparrow is not the first fish I have sent prematurely to a watery grave, and likely is not the last. Every once in a while I think, “We need a fish”.  Maybe I should be dissuaded by the fish sales person who thinks it is inhumane to put a goldfish in an actual bowl. Apparently a full tank is needed. I must interject here that Sparrow had a long (for a goldfish) and happy life.

I chose the name Sparrow for my fish for two reasons:  I named him Captain Jack Sparrow because fish come from the sea and so do pirates. But I also named him Sparrow because it reminded me of one of my favorite verses in the Bible which is found in Matthew 10. Jesus is talking with the disciples about the hard path of discipleship. He tells them that if a single sparrow falls from the sky, the Father is aware of it. If a single, seemingly insignificant bird or a tiny goldfish perish, our Father is aware of it. Matthew 10:31, says this, “So don’t be afraid, you are more important to God than a whole flock of sparrows.” 

In the middle of whatever is going on in my life, whether big or small, I take comfort in the fact that God cares for me. He has given the birds of the air everything they need and they are just birds. I, His beloved child, am given so much more. I, His beloved child, have value to God. And so, I remember the Sparrow.

Transformed

At different times of the year I feel like I need a transformation: the new improved me, or the younger fitter me. I typically end up with the same old me in a new outfit. Transformation for the low, low price of $80! If only it was that easy to be renewed or transformed.

I crave, even long for, being a person who looks more like my heavenly father and less like my earthly self. So often the desire for godliness doesn’t translate to the actions that, when taken on my part, would lead me closer to him and the transformation I desire. My teenage son recently said it like this: “Sometimes I feel really close to God, and others I don’t feel close to Him at all.” My husband reminded him that in order to feel really close to someone, to feel kinship and connectedness, you have to spend time hanging out with them.

I long for time with good friends-the ones with whom conversation is not an effort, the ones who care about the silly and important details in my life. These are the friends who really know me and love me anyway. I will arrange my schedule to go away with them, and juggle a thousand details to go to coffee. This connectedness comes from history and trust and time spent together.  In fact, if you saw us together you would probably be able to tell we were friends. People who spend a lot of time together often start to resemble each other in mannerisms, the way they look, and the way they communicate.  

The same is true in my relationship with God. If I don’t feel connected, if I don’t see His transforming work in my life, it’s highly possible that I am not spending time hanging out with Him. If I don’t feel close, it is I who am moving away. If I am not becoming someone who more closely resembles Him, it could be that I am making time for the wrong things.

Transformation is a work of the Holy Spirit in my life, but it does require some participation on my part. Bible study, meditation, and prayer all lead to intimacy and connectedness to the Father.  Even time spent with him while walking the dog, or that quiet moment when I stop to remember all his goodness toward me, are meaningful ways to connect. Connectedness leads to transformation. You can’t help but be more like those you spend a lot of time with. 

Romans 12:2 "Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect."

 

Playing With Fire

"I don't want to LIVE there but I would like to see Hell. It's supposed to have lots of fire and you know how much I like fire..." (Trevor, 9 years old)

 

Do you play with sin this way? I think Trevor’s comment reveals what many of us think about sin. “I don’t want to live there, but there’s a lot of it, you know how much I like it…” Like moths to flame, we are drawn to sin. Playing with sin is a lot like playing with fire.  There is a reason you are not supposed to play with either. Fire, like sin, is enticing. It is sparkly, shiny and bright.  It’s exciting, and at first, it seems to be satisfying and warm your soul.  You think you can control it. But fire, like sin, can easily overtake you. Fire, like sin, consumes. Before you know it, you are engulfed by its flames and your life is in ashes around you. 

We can’t completely avoid sin. As an imperfect (normal) person, my day is filled with small and maybe large inconsistencies between the way I want to live my life and the way I actually get through my day. Anger, unkind words or thoughts, and selfishness are a few of the ways that I can get wrapped up in my own sin. Surely I deserve to be angry. Surely it is my right to feel misunderstood and fantasize about the way I could get even, or about what I should have said in response to unkindness. Don’t I deserve to be first? All of these thoughts, when not given over to God lead to sin.  Soon, if left unchecked, that bright shiny spark of frustration turns to anger, and then to sin.  Like Trevor, I am playing with fire.

1 Peter 3:10-12

For, “The one who desires life, to love and see good days,
Must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit.
 “He must turn away from evil and do good;
He must seek peace and pursue it.
 “For the eyes of the Lord are toward the righteous,
And His ears attend to their prayer,
But the face of the Lord is against those who do evil.”